I keep a pregnancy test in the lower cabinet of my bathroom vanity.
Tucked in the back corner, within a tote filled with grooming supplies and feminine hygiene products and body butters that I never use, my just-in-case-we-slipped test sits in an bright white wrapper, inside of a blue and pink box.
Recently, I had to open that box.
The good news is that we’re not picking out baby names this fall. I say good news because making, growing and raising a baby is just not where our hearts are right now. I’m not sure when our hearts will be there, but I don’t spend a lot of time dwelling on the idea of it either. All I know is, I held my breath the whole time I was peeing on that stick.
I’m sure someday, when the stars are aligned and there’s a half empty bottle of Brunello nearby, our hearts will be open to the possibility of a baby. Until then, I have a second pregnancy test tucked away in a safe place for another one of those hold-my-breath moments.
Since we moved to beautiful Roncesvalles, the avenue strewn with as many vintage shops and Polish delis as baby strollers and hipster parents, our social life has been given a rebirth. Our lives changed and grew and brought us closure to the life we never knew we always wanted. We love it this way.
Lately, chatter and baby-speculation flows freely around the diner table with friends. Most recently it happened again on Valentine’s Day. Twelve of us dined at Giancarlo’s on College Street to celebrate love and friendship; and then, somewhere between appetizers and the main course, it came up: “So, who’s thinking about kids?” someone asked, testing the waters to see who would become the next baby-toting hipster pair.
No one responded. But I’m sure it’s only a matter of time.
Tick-tock.
Maybe it’s living in the city and loving it too much. Maybe it’s fearing things that scream louder than I do. Maybe it’s not feeling rooted since selling our home to move here to Roncesvalles. Maybe all of these reasons keep us from wanting to grow our family of two and half (the cat totally counts as .5). Whatever the reasons, I sure am glad that stick read exactly what I was thinking: Girl, party’s not over yet.
So, is this a topic in your circles, too?
