Last Saturday, my sister and I auditioned (well, it was a “go-see”, which means you go there, they see you) for a new Spielberg-directed television series about aliens – sort of like the now defunct show Lost, but with an extraterrestrial twist. My dad had everything to do with this opportunity (I wrote about it here last week) and so, if this all pans out and I become some sort of famous-rich TV personality, I’ll be sure to buy him something big. Like, really big.
We arrived at 8:30 a.m. to the East End of the city where all of the studios are (“Hollywood North” it’s called or something) for the big go-see. There were less than a dozen people in line at the time, which later exploded into a couple hundred hopefuls. There was a huge range: people in their 60s, in grade school and somewhere in between. Men, women, Asian, black, white, experienced actors, first-timers (hello!) and a few bitchy people (came this close to having a full blown verbal war with this one lady who couldn’t seem to get enough ’shade’ for herself. But whatever.)
With our headshots in tow (thank you Cheryl Parsons!), my sister and I talked about the possibilities – the “what if” scenario of landing a role as an extra on a Spielberg series – hm, first Toronto then Hollywood? Now, the chances of us actually getting a casting call are slim – like, really slim – but just being around that energy and that “maybe-what-if” feeling felt good. Call me star-struck (well, don’t really) but there is a magnetic energy to a film set, a stage or the possibility of appearing on either. It felt great.
And then I started to think: WHY THE HELL NOT US?!
Why couldn’t my sister and I have a shot – just like everyone else there that morning – to have a small and impish part on quite possibly the next. big. tv. show. Every person that’s ever “made it” – whether in business, on the big screen or as a world-famous author – had to tell themselves they wanted it badly enough and be willing to drop what they were doing to get it – no crutches, no regrets, no second-guessing. They believed it could be done.
Just a thought, but what do you think of this: What stands in front of our success is the thought of actually achieving it – what then? Are we so afraid of the added responsibility that comes with success – the long hours, sacrificing free time, putting finances on the line, thinking up the next. big. thing. – that we’re willing not even to try? To not even try imagining having it all? Hm, maybe that’s what successful people have that some don’t – imagination. Just a thought.
Sounds ridiculous, right? Not believing you deserve what you want? WHEN THE HELL DID YOU START THINKING THAT WAY?
I know I do. And I know when it started happening, too, but that’s my work to do – my shit to sift through… and I will, no doubt. It’s already starting to happen and, for the first time in a lot of years, I’m believing again that I deserve the things I want. And I’ll work my ass off to get it – integrity, honesty and blood-sweat-and-tears in tow. So I wanted to put it out there to you, dear readers of this little ole blog, are you really ready to get the things you want? And, if not, when did you start talking yourself out of it?
Think big. Let is scare you. Then breathe. And go do it. It’ll work… I promise.
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
I am SO BAD at that!! Why CAN’T I allow myself to believe for .5 seconds that maybe I can and should get what I want? Gah!
Good luck with your future fame and fortune :)
Such a good post! There are days when I feel driven and confident, and then others where I think I’m ok with just settling.. But I’m pretty sure if I don’t change my attitude I’m going to wake up one morning full of regret. The good news is I haven’t completely let these dreams die. I’m still a dreamer. I probably always will be.. but I should probably try to be a little more of a doer. Good luck with the gig though, that would be amazing!