In four months, less one day, I will be 30 and this blog will have completed its one-year mission to document my “reinvention”, as it were, as I cross everything off of my Birthday List. But if you’ve been here before, you already know that… so why do I keep repeating myself? Good question.
Reaffirmation. That’s why. And even though this post is yet another installment of “Things I learned at 29″, truth is that I learned this little lesson back in second grade.
I try to keep in mind to never underestimate the power of saying things out loud – eventually you will believe what you say.
The good news is that this idea applies to reminding myself of things like why I write my blog each week, because Lord knows I’ve asked myself “why?” a thousand times, especially on days when it’s hard to read back my reflections. The bad news is that this speak-out-loud theory also applies to bad shit happening, too.
I used to tell myself that certain superiors in my life hated me. At first it started out as a joke like, “Oh, so and so haaaates me!” I would laugh about it with my coworkers and friends, but then I started to believe it. And then, I started to react to what I had convinced myself to believe. And even though thinking this person disliked me was sprouted from some truth and experience (let’s just say I wasn’t on this person’s Favorite People of All Time list’) just saying it out loud – that someone HATED me – started to wear down my self confidence.
Some days it caused me so much stress I thought I’d lose my mind.
It was my sister, Ashley, who turned to me one day – after hearing me say “So and so haaates me” over and over – and said, “You would never tell me that someone hates me over and over, would you?” My answer was an obvious, “No”. Why would I ever want my sister – someone I love so much - to ever feel hated?
Exactly.
Since then, I’ve never underestimated the power of saying things out loud and I kinda wanted to remind you of the same thing, because you probably learned it in second grade, too:
I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I THINK CAN…
Oh I do that ALL THE TIME, say someone “haaaates” me!
I think on top of saying things out loud, saying them to other people is very powerful, whether it be something negative or something positive. I never gave it that much thought… Thanks for the post!
This is so true! In psychology we’re always learning about cognitive therapy for patients…this is exactly the root of many problems. We start thinking negative thoughts, verbalizing them, and eventually believing them. Then everything that happens we look at it through that negative lens. It’s definitely not healthy!
Ahhhh so true. I am the biggest offender of ‘negative self talk’ which is something I’ve been trying to change over the past year. I think its probably a good rule to say “don’t say anything about yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone you love” because at the end of the day we all need to love ourselves, right? xo
I THINK I CAN.
wait no, I KNOW I CAN.
Wonderful post! This is something I’ve thought about but never SAID out loud before. And this is also why we should tell our loved ones that we love them, out loud! Thank you Thank you for this little reminder :D
I think I can. Goodness, you think I would remember that since it was my son’s fave story for bedtime for over a year. I think I can…do as many things on my list as I can, and just make the ones for 26 harder. Like be 115lbs by my 26th. I think I can lose 65lbs in a year, and I know I can with awesome people like you in the background going “I know you can do it!” Rock on Sandy B, Rock on.