*this picture has nothing to do with this post. i just like it. Fleet Week, NYC 2009.

I’ve been holding something back from you.

I teach yoga.

It all started about eight years ago, after a competitive figure skating career (I use that term loosely, since I quite when I was the ripe old age of 16, he-hem) and a then short-lived career as a bouncing, yelling, butt-busting fitness instructor. And then came the yoga.

After being laid-off from my first post-university web-geek genius job (one of many examples whereby I pimped my words for dollars) I decided to take my part-time yoga teaching life to a whole new level and embark on the path I know I was born to walk:

Entrepreneurship.

I called it, Organic Body Yoga and Fitness. It was “mobile wellness studio”. I took my show on the road and opted out of being bound to a studio, waiting for eager yoga lovers to come to me. Instead, I would go to them, taking my classes to the masses, teaching both yoga and fitness (and later, yes, even Pilates.)

My office was my car.

I carried mats, weights and even a blown-up Swiss ball in my back seat (if you don’t know what a Swiss ball is, I suggest you Google it. Hilarious.)

I lived a rather broke life, but I loved what I did. For a time, anyway.

Eventually, life on the road, bouncing from one gym or studio or empty boardroom to the next drove me crazy – the exact opposite of yoga.

I lost the passion for what I was doing, and that never leads to a happy ending. Ever.

My writing became non-existent. And yoga, dear readers of this little ‘ol blog, became….work. Eventually, I caved and entered the 9 to 5 workforce again, peddling my words for cash and dental benefits.

That was five years ago. And now I’m turning 30. Poof. And that is how your 20s pass you by and you ask yourself, “how the fuck did I get to be 29 and not achieve my dreams?”

But I really shouldn’t complain.

After many lame jobs, I ended up nabbing myself two great ones and I did some pretty cool things:

1. I was one half of a team of two that launched Canada’s first Earth Hour for the World Wildlife Fund. I love philanthropy and the Earth and everything, so this ranks high on my list of awesome things I’ve done. And I even got to meet famous people. And the mayor of Toronto (but who cares.)

2. I landed the near impossible and became a working writer with benefits and a pension plan. I edit full-time for a women’s fitness magazine and, at the end of the month, it’s estimated that over one million people read our publication. I write the cover story each month, test beauty products sent to me by the box- load and get to meet some of the most beautiful and fit women in the industry.

But I’m an entrepreneur at heart, and that’s the truth.

This isn’t some weirdly blogged letter of resignation or some passive-aggressive way of saying I don’t like what I do, because I do. I’m lucky. I get that.

This, dear friends, is just my way of saying that five years ago I wish I had followed my heart just. a. little. bit. more and remained my own boss, even if just part of the time. I wish I believed in myself like I do now.

But you know what? I believe in the power of process and I believe pimping my words the way I did, falling out of love with yoga the way I did (and then falling back in love over and over again), and even pining for full dental coverage the way I did (thank you fillings) all brought me to this:

#21 – Return to the passion of entrepreneurship once again.

Do I know what or how or when? Not exactly. But if it’s on the List, you know it’ll be happening soon, because today I realized that I turn 30 in exactly five months. Five months (and yes, I’m counting Isn’t that what this blog is about? er…ya, let’s go with that.)

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Join the conversation: Have you ever dreamed of being your own boss? Are you? Dish!