teaching in mexico. happiness.
So here’s a little something I’ve been meaning to write about:
Tolerance.
And when I think of tolerance, I think of threshold, too, because really, isn’t tolerance just another word for how much you can take of any one given thing? I think so.
This is not a blog of complaints or bitchfests, but it is, and shall remain, a place where self-discovery and reinvention rule. With that promise comes a heavy burden that I can only describe as, “take-a-good-look-at-yourself, lady”, and lately I’ve been taking a good look at my tolerance.
On the drive into work this morning (sometimes I just show up to my office and have no idea how I got there, I swear) I started to think about all of the things I have a low tolerance for. Here’s a quicklist (edited down from about 1,457):
- People who drive with their turning signals on. Like, I thought I was out-to-lunch on the morning drive. I honk at all people who leave their signal on. Especially the right one. I don’t know why.
- Hair on food. Need I say more? It’s revolting.
- Negative people. Now, I’m no Positive Polly (what?) and I have days when the glass is, without question, half empty. I’m sensitive to my environment and when I get into spaces that are loaded to the brim with negativity, I’m a sponge. Yoga and I are working to change that.
- Lying, especially people who lie poorly. I mean, either tell a good story or just tell the truth, damn it.
And then, after thinking about all of the things that I have a low tolerance for, meaning that I will effectively react or put a stop to any of the above at any given time, I started to think about all of the things that, by default, I have a high tolerance for. I say “by default” because I just endure them day after day without change. Not okay.
- Bad ideas. More often than not, I hear bad ideas. And anyone who says, “there is no such thing as a bad idea” is lying to you (see above on “lying”). Bad ideas are thoughtless and a waste of time. I rarely tell someone, “that’s a bad idea”. I should do that more often. I hate lying.
- Rudeness. People who are rude know they’re being rude. I see rude people everyday and, I’ll bet my left boob on it, I’m not the first person to tell them they’re rude. But, despite feeling this way, I do nothing. How do you handle a rude person, anyway? You ignore them. Unfortunately, I know a lot of rude people in high places and they’re hard to ignore.
- Unhappiness. Oooh, did I hit a nerve? You’ve felt this way, right? We can complain about the things we know make us unhappy yet do nothing to change the circumstances that produce that outcome. I do this everyday. Totally my fault.
When I think about the things I won’t tolerate and the things I do tolerate, I can’t help but wonder, “would I tell a friend to tolerate any of this shit?”
The answer always comes back a resounding, “no”.
I really need to learn to be my friend again.
Join the conversation: What do you tolerate and/or not tolerate?
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I tolerate people telling me about the same issues they have over and over and do nothing to help or improve the situation. AND I give the same advice over and over and we get in this ridiculous cycle.
Extremely slow restaurant staff as well as extremely bad service at stores, I say nothing, and act perfectly nice. Though I hate it.
Another is people walking really slowly in a confined hallway or aisle. I just walk slowly behind them, totally annoyed.
After I tolerate these things and others I come home and complain about them, though don’t change them, wait, what was the first thing I listed?
I can absolutely put a rude person on the spot when I’m protecting or defending someone else. When it comes to myself, though, I’m more likely to let it pass. I’ll feel annoyance then pity for the Rude One. I mean, really, they’re the ones going through the day with the poor attitude – not me. What a waste of energy! :)
I’d love to kick rude people where it hurts. Really really hurts.
Personally I need to replace the word “tolerate” with “get annoyed by”. A lot of things annoy the heck out of me, but I do passively tolerate them, in that I don’t actually ever say anything or do anything about it.
My list includes (but is not limited to)
- Cell phones in restaurants, on buses, in movie theatres
- People talking about music like they actually know the band members really well
- Emails that have no salutation or sign off.
- People who walk through a door and then just stay there, in the doorway. It is not a good place to tie your shoe, answer your phone, or check your make-up.
- Really tight pants.
Doesn’t it feel great to just, you know, list it?
Ditto on the stand-in-the-doorway bit. As we troll the city for open houses, I see it more and more – it never fails to trip over some louse standing in the doorway lacing up his shoes. I swear, next time, I’m throwing elbows.
Good topic! I have very low tolerance, but I don’t go out and about to tell people that, so therefore, do I have a high level of tolerance then? I’m not sure. But here’s what I can’t tolerate:
-people who think that they’re “stuck” and that is the only way
-greasy mouses (the computer one, not actual ones, well actual ones too)
-negative people who bring me down
and too many more :)
Yes, the “stuck” thing drives me crazy! (although, hey, I’ve certainly been guilty of complaining about this very thing – the difference though, I don’t tolerate that stuck feeling for very long.)
I totally agree with your point about rude people – I have been in many situations where I wish I wanted to tell someone where to go and have never been brave enough. It’s just easy to ignore them (and well sometimes that’s the most effective way of dealing with them anyway because many rude people are just cocky and want attention, in my opinion). I justify not standing up to people with different excuses but then I feel completely relieved and am in total agree-ence (don’t think that’s a real word?) when someone else does it! So why don’t I just do it myself! Most of the time there are other people around that are thinking the same thing you are and are just grateful that someone said something.
very good points here. one thing that’s been on my mind lately – need to blog about this is how people come to my house and use my decorative pillows as their head pillows! greasy heads so don’t belong on my nice pillows that are for show! totally on the low end of issues in my life but for real people, get your greasy heads off my nice pillows!!
“Positive Polly” – From Pollyanna, LM Montgomery’s “glad girl” who always tried to find something to be glad about in everything. How come a male, non-Canuck, non-LMM reader can think of that and you can’t? ;)
Also, may I take a copy of the header pic, just because it’s a terrific sunset image? Pretty please with sprinkles and a cherry on top!
I absolutely love Lucy Maude! One of the first authors to be introduced into my life at a young ago. Polly, all the way.
AS for the image, absolutely! And thank you for asking. I hope you enjoy it – my husband is my very best paparazzi.
Thank you. {Sandy}xx :D :D :D
And, talking to myself ;) , if I had a subject that looks like you do, I’d take more pictures too.
Blushing here! Truth be told, I love having my picture taken, you know, being the subject of someone’s artistic vision, I guess you could say. Problem is, I’m a bit shy at times (wouldn’t guess it, right? I know.)
“I love having my picture taken”, and it shows through, in a good way. I’m an amateur photographer and a bit of an art lover myself (but only stuff that I can understand; “conceptual art” that seems to be art because “an artist” [meaning someone who's been to art school] says so leaves me cold). In this case, I think what appeals is the fact that you’re a pure silouette against the sea and sky.
Check out my blog. I nominated you for an award. :)
Thank you! What a wonderful surprise!