teaching in mexico. happiness.

So here’s a little something I’ve been meaning to write about:

Tolerance.

And when I think of tolerance, I think of threshold, too, because really, isn’t tolerance just another word for how much you can take of any one given thing? I think so.

This is not a blog of complaints or bitchfests, but it is, and shall remain, a place where self-discovery and reinvention rule. With that promise comes a heavy burden that I can only describe as, “take-a-good-look-at-yourself, lady”, and lately I’ve been taking a good look at my tolerance.

On the drive into work this morning (sometimes I just show up to my office and have no idea how I got there, I swear) I started to think about all of the things I have a low tolerance for. Here’s a quicklist (edited down from about 1,457):

• People who drive with their turning signals on. Like, I thought I was out-to-lunch on the morning drive. I honk at all people who leave their signal on. Especially the right one. I don’t know why.
• Hair on food. Need I say more? It’s revolting.
• Negative people. Now, I’m no Positive Polly (what?) and I have days when the glass is, without question, half empty. I’m sensitive to my environment and when I get into spaces that are loaded to the brim with negativity, I’m a sponge. Yoga and I are working to change that.
• Lying, especially people who lie poorly. I mean, either tell a good story or just tell the truth, damn it.

And then, after thinking about all of the things that I have a low tolerance for, meaning that I will effectively react or put a stop to any of the above at any given time, I started to think about all of the things that, by default, I have a high tolerance for. I say “by default” because I just endure them day after day without change. Not okay.

• Bad ideas. More often than not, I hear bad ideas. And anyone who says, “there is no such thing as a bad idea” is lying to you (see above on “lying”).  Bad ideas are thoughtless and a waste of time. I rarely tell someone, “that’s a bad idea”. I should do that more often. I hate lying.
• Rudeness. People who are rude know they’re being rude. I see rude people everyday and, I’ll bet my left boob on it, I’m not the first person to tell them they’re rude. But, despite feeling this way, I do nothing. How do you handle a rude person, anyway? You ignore them. Unfortunately, I know a lot of rude people in high places and they’re hard to ignore.
• Unhappiness. Oooh, did I hit a nerve? You’ve felt this way, right? We can complain about the things we know make us unhappy yet do nothing to change the circumstances that produce that outcome. I do this everyday. Totally my fault.

When I think about the things I won’t tolerate and the things I do tolerate, I can’t help but wonder, “would I tell a friend to tolerate any of this shit?”

The answer always comes back a resounding, “no”.

I really need to learn to be my friend again.

Join the conversation: What do you tolerate and/or not tolerate?