Dear Body,
I love you, but that doesn’t mean I want to get attached. This is a temporary thing between you and me, after all.
I thought I should “cc” you on the following philosophies that will impact our relationship this year. And before you get all sentimental on me, Body, I should tell you that, although you’re good to me now, you wouldn’t think twice about fucking me over, so consider this a mild intervention. I’m on to you.
You’ve already started leaving me little surprises like that small pooch under my belly button and the shift in boob-distribution – don’t think I’m oblivious to that little deal you’re making with gravity, Body. I know all about it.
So, to keep our relationship fair, I wanted to give myself a little reminder of the constant state of flux you’re in. I’m willing, after much vodka and mediation, to accept your evil ways. In fact, I’m willing to accept all the changes you throw at me so much so, that I’d like to give myself a little reminder – a Post-It note of sorts – so that I don’t forget about your constant, although not always approved, evolution. …We’re getting a tattoo.
You heard me.
I’m so decided on this that I’m making it #20 on the List. I’m changing, so are you; by 30, I feel accepting this is only fair to both of us. So, let’s make it official with ink. No erasers.
Remember that time we watched our mother survive cancer? We watched her body go from awesome one day to a deteriorating state the next from invasive chemotherapy. And you thought you had it bad with the occasional piece of unorganic fruit or the cigarettes we smoked in high school. Not even close, Body. Not even close.
I love you, but I have to remember that this is just a temporary thing between us. You could decide to let harmful things in, despite how hard we work together to keep them out. That’s just part of accepting change. But I’m not mad at you and I’m still going to treat you right, dear Body – Vitamin C; Swedish massages; essential oils and bath salts as always – this little tattoo will be our little covenant to keep it real; to not forget about the stuff on the inside, in my heart and in my head, that will keep us both strong when you decide you’ve had enough of pleasing me. You’re entitled, after all.
Think of this tattoo as my little love note, written in ink. No erasers.
With love (and a little less belly pooch, please),
sandyb
love notes.
On my first visit to your blog I got to read something that really made me think. That’s awesome and seldom happens to me, you’ve caught me off guard!
I love your letter and can very much relate. I am 31 years old and have thought similar things about my body for years (after turning 26 and realizing I couldn’t stay a size 2 without working at it anymore). I love the way this was written with such honesty without being overly critical. I look forward to reading more of your blog.
this made my day. i had a terrible day and this just helped turn it right around – thank you. i love writing this way and would like to do it more often.. i guess i can, since it’s my blog and all… the extra push is appreciated!
I think being so honest is what people are most interested in reading and you do a beautiful job at it. Most of your entries (I have sadly not read all of them yet) that I have read are very easy to relate to, and that is the main reason to read blogs, to find common ground ad someone to relate to. We’re all just searching in the grand abyss for human connection, right?
Or maybe I’m just feeling that way now because of hormones, but it sounds profound, so I’ll take it.
I’m really curious about what you’re going to get as a tattoo! Will you post the design before you get inked or will we have to wait and see?
Hmmm, not sure. We’re traveling outside of Toronto for it. Getting it from someone special, actually. Right now, the design is a surprise to me, too.
That’s so awesome that you have such an attitude.
For so many years, I’ve wanted a write a letter to my body. But I’ve wanted it to be some kind of psychotic hate mail from hell that would make my body call the FBI!
I guess to ever truly love myself, I have to love the shell my self is inside. Sure, I’m going to still work on changing it because I’m not happy, but I could still reach a temporary truce with my body until that happens :)
My ex managed to reverse the G-effect, and grow a cup size without surgery too. She decided she needed to get more exercise, and took up swimming, at least 30 minutes a day 5 days a week (time swimming laps, not time in pool).
Best wishes with the ink; any definite thoughts on what and where?
When – likely spring or summer.
What – the idea is still brewing. I won’t over think it because I really feel it will just come to me and feel completely right when it does. Hippy-ish, yes, but true.
I’m thinking about a little white ink myself…
That’s awesome, SandyB! Good luck with the tattoo. Sadly, they do nothing to halt the southward migration of “the girls.” That’s gonna happen, ink or no ink. Boooooo!
Who knew boobs had a mind of their own, right?
Seriously. Dumb boobs.
This is a beautiful post.
Good luck with your tattoo!
Well, thank you! I plan to video the experience and (hopefully!) turn it into a fun vlog post.